She is in his country – only an arm’s-length away

She is now in his country after four years and even though she is approximately 300 miles away from where he lives, he is using excuses as to why he cannot see her.  He had three months to plan for her arrival knowing she was going to be in his country for the entire summer.

The other day when I spoke to my daughter, she told me that her father told her to get on the bus and travel to see him for a weekend. It would take approximately 7 hours by bus due to all the stops. That would be 7 hours to Athens on a Friday and 7 hours back to Ioannina on Sunday. She told him she didn’t want to be on a bus that long and then mentioned she could always fly to see him as it would be faster. After looking up airline tickets, he told her it would be too expensive and he couldn’t afford it.

He then told her, “You’re having a good time there with your aunt, so I will just see you when you come to Athens to stay with me during the last week of your time here in Greece.”

Her reply: “But I’m here in your country now.” And there was no reply on his part. 

I don’t think that was the worst though. He contacted her again yesterday and told her that if she doesn’t get on the bus to go see him, then she won’t be getting a new laptop that he had planned to get for her (apparently he can get one discounted from his job).

But what really topped it off, was when he went over all his bills with her while repeatedly telling her that he couldn’t afford to go and see her. And then he said:

“I will not be able to go and pick you up and bring you back to Athens to stay with me during your last week here in Greece, so you will have to take the bus anyway.”

Not knowing what to say, my daughter had told him that the 150 Euros he was going to pay me, which was half of the price of her extended ticket, he could just use that money to go and see her. He then told her he wanted it in writing from me. (Keep in mind, the guy’s word is not good, so who knows if he would have ever paid me).

After speaking with my daughter and hearing all that was said, I was very upset. I waiting two hours because I  wanted to be as clear as possible without saying what I really thought about the situation. Here is what I wrote him:

Good evening,

Our daughter has asked me to write you per your request. 

I have no idea how your financial situation is and at this point, it doesn’t even matter. This trip of  our daughter’s has been planned for months and you knew she was coming, but I guess you didn’t prepare for it. 

Our daughter was told by you, that you will not be picking her up from Ioannina to take her back to Athens during her last week in Greece. It is my understanding that you cannot afford the trip.  

First off, I will purchase an airline ticket for her when she is ready to head to Athens during her last week in Greece. 

Secondly, you do not have to pay back half of the $350 I paid in order to change her ticket. Instead, I would like you to use that money you would have paid, to take one trip to see her while she is in Ioannina. This way you can spend some quality time with her and take her to see her Godparents.

I’m not sure how your relationship is with your family or your personal relationship for that matter, but it is a small price to pay in order to spend time with your daughter now that she is in your country. 

From the way things are looking now, with all that is going on, and how she is feeling, who knows, this may the last time in a very long time, you will have the opportunity to see her. You have a chance to make things right and a chance for a long, lasting, loving relationship with her. Take advantage of it, and don’t miss this opportunity. 

In the future, if you need something in writing from me or you need to discuss anything regarding our daughter, email me. You don’t have to tell her to tell me. There is nothing to fear here.