You always hear about how a girl who doesn’t have a father present in her life tends to go with men earlier than the average girl her age. It is said that she will always try to find someone to fill the emptiness because she never had a father around. I have spoken to quite a few women who have had a daughter that didn’t have a father in their life, and more often than not, this was not the case at all.
I had been wondering what kind of issues may arise for my daughter not having a physical or mental presence from her father in her life. I thought to myself, there must be more. So I went on line and this is what I found:
When a father is absent, whether physically or emotionally, from his daughter’s life, especially during childhood, it may seriously affect the daughter’s ability to form a strong bond with not only him, but it may have a “trickle down” effect to all the other men who will come into her life. She may find it difficult to open up to other men and even to her own father for fear that she will be abandoned or disappointed again.
When I read the above, I thought to myself, if this is the case, then it seems like having a relationships with men in her future will be even more difficult than for those of us who had a father in our lives the entire time we were growing up. And just think, even though we did, some of us could never make a relationship work from various reasons, one being lack of trust.
Speaking for myself, I was very close to my Father and he stuck around the entire time I was growing up, and my relationships have been difficult throughout my life. So maybe, just maybe, the above only applies on a case by case basis.
For those of you who have a teenage daughter who hasn’t had her father in her life, can you tell me what the outcome is/was for her regarding any relationships she may have had with boys/men?
I believe I am the one who is more worried about how this will affect my daughter than she is. As her only parent, that has had a solo role in her life, I have always validated her feelings when it came to her father, and I have never spoken ill of him. We have had many conversations regarding her father, especially prior to trip to Greece this summer. When I ask her how she feels that he isn’t a part of her life, she tells me she doesn’t know how to feel.
I’m quite sure that after this trip, and her visit with him for a few days prior to returning home, she will be able to decide what type of relationship she would like to have with him.
Here’s the thing, while you may find studies and statistics that tell you something is true, it still all comes down to the individual. Yes, that lack does play a part, but how YOU parent will also play a huge part in how your daughter makes decisions throughout the rest of her life. In the end, it is all about how your daughter chooses to handle the lack and how she will let it affect her. Being aware in the first place that this may be an issue for her could be the thing that keeps it from not being one because she will be conscious of it and maybe make choices to not let those kinds of things happen.