Over the years, I don’t think it has ever crossed your mind what you have put our daughter through. It hasn’t been the distance or even the fact that I brought her back with me to my home country. It has been your absence, not so much physically, but mentally.
She has had many questions throughout the years, questions that have been difficult for me to answer. You have put me an awkward position answering her questions that were really meant for you.
The most difficult question would come from a sad voice on her birthday each and every year. She would ask, “Mom, its my Birthday, why hasn’t he texted or called to wish me a happy Birthday?”
My response to her would usually be, that you were too busy even though I really knew the truth. I would quickly change the subject in hopes that she would forget and that usually worked but only for a while. I was always careful and would bite my tongue each and every time she asked about you in order to not make you look bad in her eyes.
I remember her waiting around and checking her phone before school, just to see if she would finally get that “Happy Birthday” text. Unfortunately, it never came and she would hang her head down and leave for school. It was difficult having to see the sad look on her face and knowing that her day would be ruined as a result.
Christmas was yet another time she would ask about you. She would do so when she would receive a package from her aunt (your sister) from overseas. She would ask why you hadn’t sent anything or even called her. Once again, the subject would be changed and you remained in the clear.
Now that she is older, her questions have changed. Looking back, she now understands it was your choice to not have communication. As it is now, the excuses you are giving her are so transparent, she has no other choice.