I was just going over a post I wrote the other day where H was telling me he wanted to secure me in this country. What came to mind was my father who said the exact same thing to my mother after he left her. He was still paying her bills and supporting her because... Continue Reading →
Why we stay
When effected by infidelity in a marriage, there comes a time when you are faced with the decision of either leaving the marriage or staying to work on it. If you have never been in this type of situation before, it is one of the most difficult decisions you will ever have to make. You... Continue Reading →
Why?
“Why can’t we just wake up tomorrow and act as though nothing happened?” After I found out about H affair, I heard this phrase from him repeatedly. Now it surfaces again. I guess through the entire process, he has not learned, nor accepted what he had done seeing it for what it is. If he... Continue Reading →
Absolute
Ever since H affair came to light, he would say that he was always absolute in believing he would never stray. Due to the experience of it all, he says he will never be absolute again. Maybe he can no longer be absolute, since he doesn’t know himself anymore. As for those around him, being absolute... Continue Reading →
He has the upper hand
I was actually floored when I heard H say that he wanted to secure me with a place of my own. At first, I felt as though he were trying to get rid of me faster than I could say good bye. It still hadn’t sunk in yet. Deep down, I guess I still believed that... Continue Reading →
Sometimes love just ain’t enough
A couple of days ago in passing, H told me he didn’t know where we stood. Now he knows exactly how I have been feeling all these months. I have not known where we stood since the day I found out about his affair, and as the months passed, I still did not get any answers... Continue Reading →
Spouse to friend vs. Spouse to spouse
“You are tired of my shit”, is what I heard from H this evening. It was not really a question but rather something he had been thinking about and just said out loud. Hell yes, I’m tired! I’m more like extremely exhausted. Exhausted to the point where I will never get the rest I need, in... Continue Reading →
Everything I do, I do it for you
While living in a foreign country, you tend to do things according to the customs and culture. If you’re lucky like I’ve been, you’ll have someone to show you what is acceptable behavior. Someone to show you the ropes and how to deal with people. You might lose part of yourself along the way. A... Continue Reading →
Inner peace
It has been very quiet around here over the last three days. For the first time, since all this began, I feel very calm. It’s not the calm before the storm, because there is no storm in sight. It’s more like an inner peace. It feels like my spirit has left my body and has taken along... Continue Reading →
Soul searching
Now that H is no longer on “that forum”, there is calmness between us. Sure we have our issues but now we no longer have to deal with our issues on top of other problems that “that forum” brought into our marriage. Plus, we no longer have to deal with his misbehaving, flirting with other women,... Continue Reading →
Fever inside the Storm 