Watched an R rated movie with my Daughter for the first time

As you know, my daughter is 15 and loves to read. She reads all kinds of novels, except for romance. However, last night she told me about a movie that came out on a book she had just read and wanted to us to watch it together. All she told me was that it was a romance movie that takes place in Italy. So, being that I am such a romantic and love watching movies that take place overseas, we sat down to watch it.

The story line was basically about a family who took in an American friend for the summer who went there to work with the man of the house.

As I watched, I was waiting to see what two individuals would get together. At first, it was difficult to tell. The young boy who was 17 had gotten together with a girl and before the sex scheme started, my daughter mentioned it was an R rated movie.  I then thought to myself,  she is 15, so how bad could it be. I thought great, young love, and figured that is why my daughter was interested in the book.

The movie then began focusing more on the boy and his infatuation with the American man. Needless to say, the movie not only focused on them a great deal, but began dragging during their intimate time together. From the corner of my eye, I could see my daughter watching me to see what my expression would be or how I would react to it.

Once the movie was over, she asked me what I thought. I told her I liked the movie, especially the part where the father of boy knowing what had occurred, showed support to his son in the what he had experienced.  My daughter seemed relieved.  She told me that at first she was uncertain if she should ask me to watch it with her because she was unsure of how I would react. She seemed surprised to see me watch the movie as I do with any other one was have watched together.

Just because I am older than the average mother of a 15 year old, doesn’t mean I am not an open minded individual. If she has ever questioned it in her mind, she now knows the answer.

Posted in American Society, Blogging, Children, Daughter, Everyday Life, Family, Kids today, life, Love, Parenting, Single parent, Teenage daughter, Thoughts | Tagged , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Will she talk to his mom at the party?

Last year I wrote about a boy/girl party that my daughter had been invited to. It was her first and she was very nervous. She was invited by a boy who had an interest in her and that just added to the pressure of it all. However, during the party, she pretty much sat and spoke with the mother the entire evening and after that, the boy lost interest in her.

Well, yesterday she was invited to a birthday party of another boy. As he handed her the invitation, he told her,  “Hey, I’d like you to come to my birthday party even if you are just going to talk to my mom.”

The word finally got out. Apparently, the boy asked his friend if he should invite her to the party and his friend told him, “No, she’ll only talk to your mom. ” 🙂

My daughter tends to find the conversations of older adults much more interesting, whereas conversations of those her own age seem to bore her. She feels the kids are too immature and don’t seem to know much about the world we live in or even about life itself. I guess you just have to get good conversation where you can find it. She is so much like me at her age.

Posted in Blogging, Children, Communication, Daughter, Everyday Life, Kids today, life, Teenage daughter | Tagged , , , , , | 4 Comments

A coworker finds out about his wife or does he already know?

I was talking to a new employee who happen to know the wife of my co-worker. When he came in to talk with us, he asked her if she knew his wife being that she had just came from the same office where she had been for the last few years. She was shocked to hear that the woman she had worked beside for years was actually married. She mentioned to him that she had known his wife for years, but since the wife never wore a wedding ring or mentioned she was married, she had no idea.

After hearing her blunt way of  speaking with him, I turned to look at him. The look on his face was not one of shock at all. In fact, he just stood there as this woman told him all she knew about his wife. While hearing her explain all this to him, I knew there was much more that she wasn’t telling him.

Once the conversation was over, he left. After he knew I was gone, he returned to her office and told her not to tell me anything more about his wife. When she told me this, I knew there was more to the story and since I worked along side him, he probably didn’t want to feel any worse than he already did.

Come to find out, what she held back from telling him was that his wife was having an affair with a coworker for over a year.

When he started working here, I thought something was up between him and his wife. She was always gone on weekends and every opportunity he got to go out in the field, he would take. He would be gone for weeks at a time, even though he could come home every night. I remember asking him if his wife was okay with it and he would always say she was, mostly because she was never around.

Posted in Blogging, Cheaters, Cheating, Everyday Life, Infidelity, life, Marriage, relationships | Tagged , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Unfaithful Friday – The biggest day of the year for Infidelity

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It is said that today is the biggest day of the year for them cheaters out there to have one last hop in the sack before breaking it off for the holidays in order to spend time with family.

I can see it now. Cheaters, whether male or female are not only having a great day today or at least they think they are. But in the back of their minds, they are asking themselves how they are going to pull it off during the holidays while spending time with family. Not only that, but their biggest concern is the growing worry of their mistresses and wondering if they will wait for them upon returning after the holidays. I can see it now. Once the texts, calls, and physical appearances vanish, they will become lonely and as a result, they will go out and find someone else to have a little fling of their own.

It must be so emotionally draining with the thoughts that run through the mind of a cheater during this time of year. It’s amazing how they can compartmentalize their lives when it comes to their betrayals, but yet have such a fogged up head that they cannot even decide what it is that they really want.

Posted in Blogging, Cheaters, Cheating, Everyday Life, Infidelity, life, Loss, Marriage, Pain, relationships, Thoughts | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

An overseas birth in Greece

My daughter is now 15. Where has the time gone?!

It seems like only yesterday I had all these thoughts about not only becoming a first time mother, but also the concern of my daughter’s future in a country, I thought at the time, would be our home forever. While I sat there thinking, I knew that raising her would be difficult. She would be brought up in a country that I, at the time, was not so familiar with. All I knew is that the language barrier and customs that were so foreign to me would be all she would ever know.  My thoughts were then interrupted by a doctor’s appointment that I was running late for.

I arrived to my appointment three days prior to the birth of my daughter. A stress test was preformed on the baby, which showed no stress at all. The doctor also checked to see if she had dropped more as she hadn’t dropped enough the week prior. I had been walking a lot as requested by my doctor, but that did not seem to help much at all. My doctor requested that I return in two days for another check and if the baby still hadn’t dropped by that time, he would schedule an appointment to have me induced. I suggested to him that we should just skip the next visit and schedule the appointment.

While there, I stressed to my doctor the importance of a natural delivery. I told him that I did not want to go in, get induced, and then after a lengthy labor for him to tell me that the baby was so stressed he would have to perform a c-section. I emphasized to him that I did not want a c-section unless it was absolutely necessary. I also informed him that I did not want any pain medication. He reassured me that this would not be a problem and told me that once labor is induced, all should be fine. He also mentioned that since my pregnancy had been a very smooth one, he was sure that labor and delivery would be as well. On the way home, I felt relieved, as this doctor was not the type of doctor who performed c-sections regularly and I felt I was in good hands.

One thing that that my doctor mentioned to me is not to be concerned with all the noise around me when I am in labor at the birthing center. He told me that Greek women tend to yell and scream during labor and it’s not due to the pain because most of them are medicated. They are loud because they usually have their mother-in-laws sitting in the waiting room and they want their mother-in-laws to believe they had a difficult time during child birth. With that said, I realized it wasn’t going to be such a big o’deal. After all, I had no one to impress and I knew that my mother-in-law would not be there anyway.

Labor begins

The next day, I started having some discomfort which happened to be contractions, only I didn’t know it at the time. The cramps were now gone but in their place was a discomfort that I had never felt before. It wasn’t painful, but it caused me to stop whatever I was doing and wait for it to pass. Once again, I didn’t pay much attention to it because my doctor had told me that discomforts may occur and that it would only be my body preparing for labor. With only two more days to go, I was trying to get as much done as possible.

I remember a moment on that day that is so vivid, I can still  feel it today. 

While cleaning our apartment, I stopped to hear the quietness of our home. It was a perfect Autumn day, the sun was out and I could feel it’s warmth. It was a day unlike any other. A day of clarity and acceptance. Interrupting the peacefulness of it all came the realization that this would be the last time I would hear this type of quietness. I just stood there broom in hand appreciating the moment of being completely alone.

As the day progressed, the contractions started becoming more intense. Still, I didn’t think much of it. Breathing seemed to help a little, but since I hadn’t taken any childbirth classes, I had no idea how to breathe! As one would come, I would take deep breaths until it would pass. This continued throughout the day and I didn’t want to tell my husband at the time because I figured being my first, it would be a false alarm anyway.

By the late afternoon, the contractions were coming every ten minutes. My husband asked if he should call the doctor and I told him not to bother the doctor since there were no other signs of labor (my doctor had told me that labor is usually pain in the back). Everyone says the first child takes the longest to arrive, so I felt I had plenty of time.

I have to admit, I was being stubborn. I wanted to have my baby on my birthday and wanted to wait it out for as long as I could. My husband tried to convince me for over an hour before I allowed him to contact the doctor. The doctor requested that we go in to see him right away. By that time, the contractions were so strong, it was almost unbearable to walk. So we waited between contractions and then hauled ass to the car.

The streets were congested with traffic more than usual due to a protest against the Greek Government. It had just started that day and traffic was being redirected to other parts of the city, while other streets were closed. It took us thirty minutes to arrived to the doctors office, when normally it would only taken ten. We parked on the sidewalk, as there were no other places to park and no time to drive around in the congested traffic. The doctor was there waiting and luckily for us, there were no other patients. He quickly monitored the baby and after a few minutes said that we needed to get over to the birthing center right away because I was in labor and the baby was coming. He said I should be delivering within the hour. I hadn’t brought my bag, so we had to first return home to get it before heading to the birthing center.

At the Birthing Center

I remember entering the smoke filled place and saw the receptionist sitting there with three doctors around her who appeared to be throwing money on the counter. I figured they were betting on some type of sport. I didn’t know it at the time, but they were actually betting on the time I would deliver.

As I stood there in labor, a midwife appeared and took me to the labor room to prepare me for delivery. After I was prepped and ready, I asked if I could go to my room to take a shower. My contractions were right on schedule and were getting more intense, but still I felt that I had a long night ahead of me and wanted to be refreshed for later.

When I was done, I returned to the labor room where I was checked for dilation and started concentrating more on my breathing. My husband was with me the entire time.  I remember almost slapping the hell out of him because he kept telling me it would all be worth it, and that was getting on my nerves. The contractions were going so well that no medication was needed at all. In fact, they forced me to get up and walk around which was quite difficult to do. Once the back pain started, the doctor broke my water and said everything was going as scheduled. After all I had heard from other people I thought this was just way too easy. The only pain I felt was some intense back pain but it wasn’t anything I couldn’t handle. After all the things I imagined, I never in a million years thought my legs would give out on me but they did. I got really bad cramps after hours of pushing and still the doctor wanted me to push. They had me squat down while standing and push as hard as I could. The embarrassment of two doctors, a midwife and my husband all watching my bare ass pushing made me feel like I was an animal at the zoo for all to see. Still, pushing in every possible position, I gave it everything I had.

My cervix had opened up and I had full dilation but still the baby would not come. It wasn’t until another doctor was called in that I began to realize that something was terribly wrong. My baby got stuck on the pubic bone and was having a really hard time getting past it. My doctor hesitated on moving me to surgery since he knew I wanted to avoid a c-section. After the other doctor arrived, they came up with an idea. The baby had only 1/2 of a centimeter to go. They were hoping that if she could make it just a little further, they could use a suction device to get her out. That is when they decided to give me Pitocin to help me push. Actually, this medication took over my body completely and my body was pushing all on its own (not having any control over your own body is such an awful feeling). A while later, the doctors’ noticed I was just about giving up from exhaustion so the decision was made to take me to surgery. They had waited long enough.

My husband was not allowed to go into the surgery room with me. I have never had any type of surgery in my life, so I didn’t really know what to expect. I thought that maybe someone would be telling me what would go on as they were preparing for surgery, but no one did. I was lying on a hard, cold bed with a bare ass. My body was still pushing on its own and contractions were still coming. As I continued concentrating on my breathing, I looked around to see what was going on. It was as though I was watching these people around me in slow motion. They were taking forever to get prepared. The last thing I remember was an old man (anesthesiologist) trying to put a blood pressure monitor on my arm and as he expanded it, it fell off. At that point, I thought to myself that this person didn’t know what he was doing and I couldn’t help but wonder if others in that room knew what they were doing as well.

They had put me under, so I can’t say I really know all that took place. My daughter was delivered at approximately 6:30 AM on a Friday morning. She was 21 inches long and a little shy of 8 LBS.

The next thing I remember was waking up in my room. It was dark and I was still a little out of it. I noticed my stomach was flat and called to the nurse to bring me my baby. When she entered the room, I continued yelling at her “Where’s my baby?!” I was even more upset at the nurses when they finally brought her in to me and told me I would not be able to hold her for three days due to the c-section I had had. But they sure got me up and walking immediately after my surgery.

My stay in the birthing center:

My stay in the birthing center was lengthy due to an infection I had and Jaundice that my daughter had developed. We were there for a week but I had my own private room and there was a chair that made into a bed for my then husband. He stayed with me that entire week. We also had catered meals from nearby Greek restaurant which was great.

During those first three days, it was torture to not be able to hold my daughter. They would bring her into me to breastfeed while holding her up to my breast. It was such an awful experience. Most times, when breast feeding was over, they would take to her to the nursery.  One day, while on my walk, I decided to stop by the nursery to see my daughter and other babies. However, I was in shock to find out there was no nursery. It was a room with tables connected to the walls kind of like what you would see in a laundry mat. The babies were tightly wrapped in blankets and just laying there on the table. They could have easily rolled off. I then yelled to the nurse to bring my daughter to my room. It took the longest time to convince her that I wanted my daughter in my room. Finally, after my husband got involved, they brought in a bassinet and from that day on, she was with me in my room.

A couple of days later, this old man showed up to my room. At the time, I didn’t realize who he was. He came in smoking a cigarette and began talking to me. It was all Greek to me as that was the only language he spoke. I remember wanting him to get out of my room because I didn’t want the room filled with smoke while my daughter was there. I was relieved when he finally left. Later on, I found out he was the anesthesiologist who was just coming by to see how I was doing. 

Posted in Blogging, Children, Daughter, Everyday Life, Family, Greece, life, Love, Marriage, Memories, Parenting, Thoughts | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

His anger is never ending

My daughter decided, as a joke, to text her dad and tell him I would be going to Greece with her this summer. She asked him if he would pick us up from the airport and if we could stay at his place. He told her this was serious and something that they would need to discuss on the phone.

He called her and told her that she is always welcome to stay with him when she goes to Greece, but I am not. He gave no reason why and the conversation was dropped at that point.

When I heard this, I didn’t realize how much anger he still has after all these years. I would never stay at his place, so why be an ass about it.

It’s almost as bad is him sending over $200.00 to my daughter for her birthday last week and then telling her to make sure I don’t spend it. I was furious. I told her that she needs to open a paypal account and when/if he does send her any more money, he can send it directly to her and she can then forward it into her bank account. I told her I want no part of anything that goes on between the two of them. He never paid child support all these years, so why is he making a big deal about sending over $200.00?

My daughter then told me that when she was at his place this past summer, she noticed he has some of her baby pictures up. One in particular is one where I am holding her and I was cut out of the picture, although you can see my arm around her and according to my daughter, it shows me wearing my wedding ring. She questioned why would his new wife allow it. He could have picked any other picture of our daughter to display, why that one?!

On several occasions, my daughter has told me that she sees her father very unhappy. She has even went as far as telling him that he needs to live life now before he gets too old. If I didn’t know better, I would say she feels sorry for him.

He just needs to get over whatever he has against me. It wasn’t me who gambled away our marriage/family and lost, it was him. He just needs to take it for what its worth and move on. Wait a minute, didn’t he just get married this past summer? Shouldn’t he be on cloud nine?

Posted in All about him, Blogging, Disappointment, Divorce, Greece, life, Life after Divorce, Marriage, relationships, Thoughts | Tagged , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Keeping a Journal and looking back

When my daughter returned from Greece, after her long summer there, memories of us as a family and our time together came flooding back to me. I have been in deep thought for a while now and the reason why I’ve been absent from this blog.

For as long as I can remember, I’ve kept a Journal. I have it all written on an external hard drive and I consider it my life. It describes where I’ve been and all I have been through. But it wasn’t until my daughter returned from Greece, that I decided to pull it out and start reading. I have been reading and reading about my time in Greece. I have read things that I don’t even remember going through during the last two years there  prior to leaving my husband, especially the two months prior to starting this blog.  Maybe the possible shock to my older self is due to the way I write. I write without feeling and while reading those words, it looks like I am reading someone else’s life. Reading it now, I want to tell my younger self, why in the hell are you allowing him to continue treating you this way? At the time, I was very sick. I had no family or friends and was completely alone in a foreign county. All I had was him and my daughter who I was basically taking care of alone, with a little help from her aunt. If I had been well health-wise, I know that I would have handled things differently.

When I started this blog, it was the day I had found out about his infidelity, but I never wrote about what happened prior to. This is the point I am at now while reading “my life”. I just got to it this morning and I cannot believe what I am reading.

Posted in Blogging, Disappointment, Divorce, Everyday Life, Family, Greece, Infidelity, life, Loss, Marriage, Memories, Pain, relationships, Single parent, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment