She found out on Facebook and Mr. Disappointment still refused to tell her

My daughter saw a post that her father (Mr. Disappointment) had posted on Facebook. It was a picture of him and his girlfriend and the heading read “Joined in a Civil Union”.  While on the phone,  I could tell by her voice that she was in complete shock. She asked me what that meant and I told her it sounds like they got married.  I then went on to tell her that every country is different, and therefore, it could mean something different in Greece. She then asked me why wouldn’t he tell her being that she is in Greece right now. I had no words for her and told her I did not know.

I went on line to find out what the U.S. and the E.U. consider a civil union and here is what I found:

U.S.A definition: A civil union is a legally recognized arrangement similar to marriage.

E.U. definition: Civil unions allow 2 people who live together as a couple to register their relationship with the relevant public authority in their country of residence.

Wanting to know what was going on, my daughter decided to call him to see what he had to say about it. She told him she had a question as to what he had uploaded on Facebook. On purpose, he acted as though he didn’t know what she was talking about and asked her what she saw. She went into detail of the picture and what the heading said, and then asked him what it meant. He told her to google it and find out what it means. Now, what type of response is that to give your daughter? She then told him she had already googled it and still he refused to tell her.

She went on to ask him if he had gotten married and went on to explain all the congratulations replies that she had read from his friends. And still, there was silence.

Then she asked him if his girlfriend was pregnant and it was at that point, where she finally got his attention. His reply to that was “Oh, so that’s what you’re worried about.” With that said, he told her he had to go because his boss was calling.

As if that weren’t enough, that night when Mr. Disappointment texted her good night, he told her that her step mother says good night too. My daughter was furious.

Why does he intend on keeping it from her when he put it on Facebook for the entire world to see? Is he ashamed of the situation? You would think he would be ecstatic and would want to share this news with her.

My daughter was beyond upset, but mainly hurt. While she was telling me all that had occurred during their conversation, she kept on questioning why he refused to tell her and why he didn’t want to share this news with her. I continued to hear her out and then she said, “I have a stepmother”.  I could tell she was thinking out loud while letting it all sink in.

At this point, I don’t think she really knows how to act or feel about this new development.  All I could tell her was that she will find out soon enough when she goes to spend her last week with him. I’m sure he will tell her at that time or maybe not.

I feel so bad that there is nothing I can do to comfort her. I know this is something she has to go through on her own, in order to see her father for who he truly is. Sadly, her summer spent in Greece thus far, has been mostly disappointment, and all of it coming from her father, Mr. Disappointment.

Posted in All about him, Blogging, Children, Daughter, Disappointment, Everyday Life, Family, Father, Greece, relationships | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments

His reply to my email

The reply to my email (you can read it here) was not at all what I expected, nor did it make any sense.

Here is his reply:

It is exhausting enough saying one thing to another person,  the other person understanding something different and then transferring it to a third person in a totally different way so that the third person emails you back with something totally different.
Just like you said, I have made arrangements and I have made plans.
Have a nice day!
————————————————————————————————————————————-
He tells her to tell me to email him, so I do, and then he sends a reply email to me like this?!

After his reply was received, my daughter was told by her father that he would go and pick her up and take her back to Athens for her last week in Greece.

If you ask me, the guy has the money, so I don’t know why he is trying to make her life so difficult.

Posted in All about him, Blogging, Children, Communication, Daughter, Divorce, Everyday Life, Family, Father, Greece, life, Parenting, Single mom, Single parent, Travel | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

She is in his country – only an arm’s-length away

She is now in his country after four years and even though she is approximately 300 miles away from where he lives, he is using excuses as to why he cannot see her.  He had three months to plan for her arrival knowing she was going to be in his country for the entire summer.

The other day when I spoke to my daughter, she told me that her father told her to get on the bus and travel to see him for a weekend. It would take approximately 7 hours by bus due to all the stops. That would be 7 hours to Athens on a Friday and 7 hours back to Ioannina on Sunday. She told him she didn’t want to be on a bus that long and then mentioned she could always fly to see him as it would be faster. After looking up airline tickets, he told her it would be too expensive and he couldn’t afford it.

He then told her, You’re having a good time there with your aunt, so I will just see you when you come to Athens to stay with me during the last week of your time here in Greece.”

Her reply: “But I’m here in your country now.” And there was no reply on his part. 

I don’t think that was the worst though. He contacted her again yesterday and told her that if she doesn’t get on the bus to go see him, then she won’t be getting a new laptop that he had planned to get for her (apparently he can get one discounted from his job).

But what really topped it off, was when he went over all his bills with her while repeatedly telling her that he couldn’t afford to go and see her. And then he said:

“I will not be able to go and pick you up and bring you back to Athens to stay with me during your last week here in Greece, so you will have to take the bus anyway.”

Not knowing what to say, my daughter had told him that the 150 Euros he was going to pay me, which was half of the price of her extended ticket, he could just use that money to go and see her. He then told her he wanted it in writing from me. (Keep in mind, the guy’s word is not good, so who knows if he would have ever paid me).

After speaking with my daughter and hearing all that was said, I was very upset. I waiting two hours because I  wanted to be as clear as possible without saying what I really thought about the situation. Here is what I wrote him:

Good evening,

Our daughter has asked me to write you per your request. 

I have no idea how your financial situation is and at this point, it doesn’t even matter. This trip of  our daughter’s has been planned for months and you knew she was coming, but I guess you didn’t prepare for it. 

Our daughter was told by you, that you will not be picking her up from Ioannina to take her back to Athens during her last week in Greece. It is my understanding that you cannot afford the trip.  

First off, I will purchase an airline ticket for her when she is ready to head to Athens during her last week in Greece. 

Secondly, you do not have to pay back half of the $350 I paid in order to change her ticket. Instead, I would like you to use that money you would have paid, to take one trip to see her while she is in Ioannina. This way you can spend some quality time with her and take her to see her Godparents.

I’m not sure how your relationship is with your family or your personal relationship for that matter, but it is a small price to pay in order to spend time with your daughter now that she is in your country. 

From the way things are looking now, with all that is going on, and how she is feeling, who knows, this may the last time in a very long time, you will have the opportunity to see her. You have a chance to make things right and a chance for a long, lasting, loving relationship with her. Take advantage of it, and don’t miss this opportunity. 

In the future, if you need something in writing from me or you need to discuss anything regarding our daughter, email me. You don’t have to tell her to tell me. There is nothing to fear here. 

Posted in All about him, Blogging, Children, Communication, Daughter, Disappointment, Everyday Life, Family, Father, life, Parenting, relationships, Single mom, Single parent, Travel | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Disappointment takes away excitement

When my daughter first arrived in Greece, her father picked her up from the airport. She spent the day and night with him. When they arrived to his home, his girlfriend did not greet her well at all. In fact, she shook my daughter’s hand and then went and sat on the couch where she remained the rest of the evening. My daughter stated that the girlfriend seemed to be rather upset but she had no idea why.  She went on to say that she felt so uncomfortable and that it felt as though she had spent the evening with two complete strangers.

The next morning my daughter was so excited knowing that her father would be taking her to her aunt’s house. During their road trip of about three hours, there were a couple of toll roads and a toll bridge they had to cross. Her father complained to her that the cost was too much and that he would not be able to make trips to see her during the duration of her stay. She told me that by the time they crossed that bridge, all she wanted to do was come home. When she told me this, I could tell that all the built up excitement she had been feeling prior to this trip, was all at once taken away from her.

Why would a father do that to his daughter? He waited so long to see her and yet, he couldn’t have came up with a better excuse? I wish I could chalk it up to cultural differences,  but that wouldn’t apply here.

Posted in All about him, Blogging, Children, Daughter, Disappointment, Everyday Life, Family, Father, Parenting, relationships, Single mom, Single parent, Travel | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 8 Comments

Saying Good-Bye – Greece Bound

It has been an emotional couple of days for me. I had to drive my daughter to Denver which was a seven hour drive to get to the hotel before putting her on her flight. We tried to make the best of it as we love road trips, but deep down inside I was not looking forward to saying goodbye. My daughter noticed that I wasn’t myself and some of my concerns were mentioned to her. I tried very hard to enjoy the last day I had with her but my emotions were all over the place. She was so filled of excitement and I didn’t want to bring her down by worrying about me.

If you are a mother like me who spends all of her free time with her child, it is somewhat of a loss when they leave even if its only for two and a half months. She is my best friend and the one who keeps me grounded. There is only the two of us, so you can imagine how difficult this is for me. 

This morning, I took her to the airport. When it came time to check her in, I let the lady behind the counter know she was an unaccompanied minor and I requested a pass to walk her to her gate. Unfortunately, I was told a flat out no and I grew upset. It took everything within me to keep myself calm. After getting her boarding passes, we proceeded to the security check point. I stood there trying to hold back all my emotions but they got the best of me. I grabbed her and hugged her so tight while I broke down crying. Looking back now, I feel so bad I done that. I thought us as parents were supposed to be stronger than that. After hugging her for what seemed like a life time, I drew back, and she saw how upset I was. She had never seen me like that before and I could tell it concerned her a great deal. I told her I loved her and we walked away in different directions.

A few minutes later, after gathering myself, I turned around and walked back to get in line with her. A feeling came over me so strongly that I was leaving her in a situation we had not planned and I felt so bad. I didn’t want to let her go. When I walked up to her, she just gave me a “what are you doing” look. I told her I would stand with her until she got further up in line. As the line moved and we got closer, I said my goodbyes again and told her to text me when she was on the plane.

As I walked away, it was difficult to see where I was going as the tears were now flowing. I walked outside the airport and stood there for the longest time just waiting for that text to come over saying she was on the plane. Once I received the text, I was relieved she found her gate and boarded. I remained at the airport for another hour until I knew the plane had departed and it was now at a point where it was safe in flight.

I then returned to the hotel and cried the entire morning, not to mention off and on throughout the day, while I watched her flights in real-time. These strong emotions were completely unexpected and I never even saw it coming. I miss her so much and have already written her two emails. She is going to think I am crazy!

As I sit here in the quiet hotel room and write this, I am thinking how lucky I am that I have someone that makes me say goodbye so hard.

Posted in Blogging, Children, Daughter, Everyday Life, life, Parenting, Single mom, Single parent, Thoughts, Travel | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

End of school year and vacation preparation

I’m so so sorry I have been absent from my blog. I have been extremely busy with my daughter. It’s literally been crazy with school year end, graduation and preparing her for her summer vacation.

During this time of year, I am trying to get my daughter finished up with school. She usually starts dragging during the last month of school each year. There is just so much that is put on them and by the time the end of the school year rolls around, they are completely exhausted. This gets me exhausted as well, and as such, I didn’t send her to school on her last day.

Besides being busy, with year end for my daughter, I have been helping her prepare for her trip overseas. It has been difficult to say the least and I have been so stressed out.  Last time I sent her to Greece, she was ten but had an escort. This time, I was not allowed to obtain one for her as Air Canada does not provide it. She had a 55 minute layover in Toronto on the scheduled ticket I had purchased for her months ago. But after worrying about it for three weeks, I called the airline only to be told that was not enough time to get her connecting flight. I was also told that if she missed her flight, she would have to stay the night at the airport because they only have one flight to Greece a day.  I was then offered a change of flight for a four hour layover for the amount of $350.00 and I jumped on it. I would pay any amount for peace of mind and that I did.

Posted in Blogging, Children, Daughter, Everyday Life, life, Parenting, relationships, Single parent, Travel | Tagged , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Bloom where you are Planted

bloom1

This was always a phrase that expats would use back in the day. It taught us that when you find yourself in a place where you didn’t really choose to be, and then realized you were going to stay a while, you had to welcome the change with open arms. It taught us to learn to adapt and take advantage of the opportunities in our new found country.

Well I’m no longer living in a foreign country, but I am living in another state. It was not part of the plan to come to this state from California four years ago and stay here for as long as we have. It was only supposed to be temporary and then move on again. I have always been the type of person who has never stayed in any one place too long.

Over the last few years, I knew that all this moving from place to place would eventually come to an end. I had told myself that wherever I was prior to my daughter entering high school, I would have to remain until she finished her education. It is almost like a game of musical chairs. When the music stops, that’s where you sit. That time has now come.

After what has seemed like a lifetime of thought, we have bought a house and will finally plant roots. 

I have always believed that distancing yourself from the place you grew up is the fastest way to determine what ties you have to places and whether they’re strong enough to keep you there. I’m not sure if this place is strong enough to keep me here, but I am determined to get as much out of it while I am here.

I am ready to make this home and to start new memories that will last a lifetime!

Posted in Children, Daughter, Everyday Life, Family, life, Parenting, Single parent, Thoughts | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment