When I told my daughter of the idea I had of her spending a year overseas in Greece, she was ecstatic to say the least. She had already been telling me prior to us contacting the foreign exchange program that she was already ready to return. I cannot even describe what her face looked like when she heard the idea or the excitement she felt. She quickly began verbally making plans and I joined in in her excitement of planning. I know that night she probably didn’t even sleep a wink.
A few days later when her dad called her, he asked how the process of the foreign exchange was going. She told him that we had decided to move forward with it but instead, she would be going to Greece for a year. His response? Well first, he blew a gasket. He flat out told her it was NOT a good idea. He mentioned that the schools in Greece don’t even teach the children well enough and as a result, they have to attend private school in the evenings. She said he was so upset he began talking over her and wouldn’t hear any more of it. He even went as far as saying that this was a phase she was going through as if she had just came up with the idea.
He then sent her this picture:
I think what bothered my daughter the most was that he didn’t even invite her to stay with him when there is a school for foreign children there in Athens. I could tell by the look on her face that this was not how she had hoped the outcome would be.
Prior to returning home after her summer in Greece, he was complaining that she was going to be involved in this program and wouldn't see him for three years. His exact words were "you are only spending three days with me and I won't be seeing you for three years?" Now that he has the opportunity to spend a year with her, he doesn't even mention it.
I felt so bad when she told me he didn’t even invite her to stay with him. I was upset that she was upset even though I didn’t show it. To make matters worse, I told her after all these years, he should at least want to get to know her for the person she has become and jumped on the opportunity to spend a year with her. I should have kept my mouth shut because she probably had already thought that same thing. She knows him and how he is. What is wrong with me?
Thank you for that. I just need to be more careful not to get too upset and then blurt out things that I shouldn’t. I fear that I made her feel even worse.
So sorry you’re going through this
Nothing wrong with you. Therrs no way to know how to navigate every situation out there