Third time’s a charm

Last night I confronted H because I saw that he had purchased “A” for the third time!! It showed all of his activity on the first page of my facebook, but on his, the third purchase of “A” was not there. I let it go because I thought I was just seeing things. However, when checking facebook this morning, little did I realize, he did purchase “A” a third time.

Instead of confronting H like I did last night, I decided to send him an email instead:

I was not wrong that you had purchased “A” three times! The second time you purchased her you said you were in a bidding war with her brother. But after the conversation we had when you told me you would take care of it, you returned to purchase “A” again for the third time!

Tell me I don’t have a reason to be upset after all I have been through, and she has been along for the ride! You really need to come clean on what is going on here and if there’s nothing going on, then you are doing this intentionally to get me upset. If this is the case, then you are just being cruel. Maybe it is your way to avoid working on “us” and you want outside interference to have someone or something to blame.

This month is a very bad month for me. In case you don’t know what I’m going through, let me remind you. I have been dealing with what happened during this same time last year with my mother and with you. Last year at this time, I was dealing with what I was going to do with my mother once I returned home ,since I already had my return date at this time. How one year ago last week, you had started arguing with me for no apparent reason and a year ago this week, you were being a sweet heart telling me we were going to start over again and have a new life together. This was the month when you last saw “V” physically (as far as I know). I am trying to work things out here to help heal myself. Then put “A” into the equation and it doesn’t mix well.

Its one thing to not work on this marriage because you feel you are not ready, but it’s quite another to bring someone else into this marriage to create problems between the two of us.

When H came home from work, he mentioned to me he was in a bad mood and needed to lay down. I figured that he had read my email and that was why he was in such a bad mood. I gave him his space figuring that he would come to me at a later time to discuss it.

Later, we took our daughter to her swimming lesson. H was quite distant and repeatedly kept telling me that he was tired. When I asked him why he was so tired, he said he didn’t sleep well last night. He never mentioned coffee either like he usually does, which was also quite strange. I then began to think that maybe he was possibly contacted by the other woman and just didn’t know how to tell me. So I asked him and he said he had not been contacted.

At this point, I knew that he had not read my email and that something else must have been on his mind. So I decided if I was going to get any answers, no matter what they might be, I was going to let him know that an email had been sent to him. When I told him, I also mentioned that I wanted this one answered.

I was in the kitchen and could hear him typing away on the computer in the office. A short time later, he told me that he had answered my email and to read it when I had the time. At that point, I knew that his quick reply meant that he had not read the email thoroughly and he had probably only replied with a sentence or two, possibly not even mentioning anything regarding the email itself.

When I went to read the email, it was just as I had thought. All the email said was…I love you. Did “I love you” mean that this was his way of showing me? How was I supposed to take this type of reply? I love you doesn’t mean anything, since his actions speak louder than his words ever could.