I cannot express how upset I am tonight. I thought that writing this might help me but if anything, I am getting even more upset. What do you do when your husband isn’t hiding, but rather flaunting what he does that he knows is something that will get you upset?
By email, I found out that H requested “A” as a friend on hi5. I was hesitant to confront H but then I thought, I’m not going to let this go. From now on, things are going to be discussed as they happen so there will be no buildup of anger on my part, which will later cause an explosion. It will also prevent H was telling me he doesn’t remember anything when bringing to his attention something that he has done.
When I confronted H, the only thing he could say was that he sent a request to her a long time ago. He was at his computer at the time and I stood over him. I told him to log into his hi5 account. In all my anger, I didn’t even check to see when the request was sent. Instead, being totally fed up with the entire situation, first on facebook and now on hi5, I told him that he had to delete “A” from his friend’s lists on both. I then mentioned wayn and told him that she needs to be deleted from his friends list there as well.
At that point, he acted as though he didn’t know what wayn was and then quickly changed his mind saying that he signed up for it some time ago, because he was getting a lot of requests from friends. A long time ago, I thought. If he only knew, that I knew it was a week ago according to an email he received from wayn confirming his registration. I became more furious catching him in this lie.
He sat there acting as though nothing was wrong. I explained to him how he brought all this on himself by the way he continued to have contact with “A” all these months, while bringing her into our marriage. I told him, I will probably go to my grave not knowing if he actually slept with her or not.
Without a comment about what I had just told him, he grew upset and said, “You’re following me around and checking up on me”.
“And I will continue to do so”, I said. “Checking up on you is a way for you to gain back my trust. Right now, I have less then zero trust for you and with the way things are going, you are a long way off from even one percent. It shouldn’t bother you if you have nothing to hide.”
“I will never say I have nothing to hide again”, he said while remembering the trouble that those words caused him in the past.
Despite all he has put me through, I’m still holding on to a little hope. I am hoping he will finally start to “get it” and will make the wrong right. I am giving him an opportunity to prove himself before throwing in the towel. If things don’t change and I walk away, I want to walk away knowing I have done all I can to save this marriage.
You are right. I deserve much more then this.
I can’t figure out why you are staying with that man. Truly. I am sitting here wondering WHY and I can’t figure it out.
He is throwing you crumbs and you deserve more.