It’s my life!!!!

Looks like someone has forgotten it’s my life! This is for him….

It’s funny how I find myself
In love with you
If I could buy my reasoning
I’d pay to lose One half won’t do


I’ve asked myself
How much do you
Commit yourself?

It’s my life Don’t you forget
Oh, It’s my life
It never ends (It never ends…)

Funny how I blind myself
I never knew If I was sometimes played upon
Afraid to lose

Oh, I’d tell myself
What good do you do
Convince myself

Oh, It’s my life
Don’t you forget
Oh, It’s my life
It never ends (It never ends…)

And I’ve asked myself
How much do you
Commit yourself?

It’s my life
Don’t you forget
Caught in the crowd
It never ends (its my life)

It’s my life
Don’t you forget
Caught in the crowd
It never ends (It never ends)

Oh, It’s my life… (oh its my life)
Don’t you forget… (don’t you forget)
Caught in the crowd… (caught in the crowd)
It never ends (it never ends…)


10 thoughts on “It’s my life!!!!

Add yours

  1. Hello Husband.

    Let me first start by saying that I am too in Europe and originally from the states. I know how both sides of the cultures we come from work here so if that helps with understanding a bit more of why I can truly speak from the heart here than so be it.

    I disagree with generalising the reaction is “why do it” and less of the “burn in hell.” I got a lot of both when people found out what my partner did. None of them really had any right, just as others including myself can say about you and your wife. None the less, I disagree with saying people use why first.

    To answer your questions that you put up, I wonder each and every day those questions and answers and have ALWAYS taken FULL responsibility on the half of my relationship. I have never doubted for once that there were problems before the A and even now but to make it clear and simple before I go on to the rest of your post, the person who committed the A NEVER once thought those things because ultimately the A was THEIR decision and THEIR choice. I don’t care what lead up to it. I don’t care about “male ego” bullshit. Simple fact, if there are issues either work them out or let that person go. Do NOT have an A of any kind and try and justify it. It’s blameshifting to the highest extent to think that “the relationship caused it” etc. Honestly, it’s bullshit and I think you must know it.

    I do agree that no one wakes up and decides they are going to fuck their lives up but in my case, I warned my partner what he was doing was crossing the line. Most women with a preconceived notion do. The simple fact is, that other person thinks they are doing no wrong until after the fact. It is textbook behaviour. Always was and always will be.

    I could go on and on about each of your details of why you think it happened but you know what? I left my ENTIRE life behind in the states. My friends, family, FANTASTIC job, everything I know. I am in financial ruins because of visas. I am getting older and my partner still doesn’t know if he wants children especially now after the A. It’s ALL I ever wanted. He’s bipolar and I have to live with his ups and downs every single day. I am unemployed because my line of work is almost impossible to find in this country. I went a year and half without sex with him because of excuse after excuse And you know what, I NEVER EVER cheated. I love him more than anything. ALL of the crap I’m dealing with is ruining me on some days and I still stay faithful because that’s a moral thing that’s in me. I am not saying that it couldn’t happen. I’ve learned over time that everyone is capable. I’m just saying I haven’t and don’t plan on it. Point here is this, don’t use reasons why it happened. It is important to talk them out but know that it was YOU who did this.

    Your wife seemingly (I only know what I’ve read and that’s one side) is and has tried so hard to make this work and to forgive you when maybe she shouldn’t have. It just seems you want to say “Yes. I made a mistake now move on” It can’t be that way. You need to show her you love and want to keep her not just say it.

    You’re not a jerk but know that by saying “But do it only if you truly know in your heart that you love them, care for them and make sure, if you do so, that you show them that you do.” you need to do it and it seems you haven’t. You’ll lose everything if you don’t.

    My advice to anyone in a situation such as this, if you see it coming, nip it in the bud before it gets too deep. I don’t care what the cost. In the end, you lose the A and the marriage. Is that really worth it?

  2. When a marriage or relationship goes bad, it takes two to cause the issues and problems within it. I have taken 50% of the blame when it comes to the issues we had in our marriage prior to your infidelity and I have told you that repeatedly over the last several months. However, I do not take any of the blame or responsibility for your choice to go out and cheat on me like you did! Your blame shifting will not change anything. You know you are 100% responsible for your choice. We were both in the same marriage, facing the same issues towards one another, and I didn’t betray you!

    The reason why I kept saying it was all in your head is because you know as well as I do, that when you are feeling very sick, you go see a doctor. Since you were not doing so, I thought you were not as bad as you were leading yourself on to be.

    PS. The other woman did not appear out of no where. In fact, you two were in contact daily for a few weeks before you both engaged in sex together. Let the world know <—–isn’t that what you said?

  3. Dear Megan,I am deeply sorry for having to find your self in a similar situation.
    Yes it is a cultural thing on how situations like this are handled.

    See Megan, over “here”, when someone finds out about sth like this, the usual reaction is “My God! WHY did you do something like that?!??!?!?!” and not “You mo@@@er fu@@@@kcker! May you burn in hell!”
    (Okay, not those exact words but I hope you get the meaning even though my English has went downhill lately(

    Yes, we are all human and our reactions on something like this are always expected to be uneasy. But for the life of me, I will not try to sugarcoat anything I say on this blog or elsewhere.

    When was the last time you looked into your relationship with a critical – neutral look and thought to your self :
    – “Is everything alright between us?”

    When was the last time you wondered :
    – “Where is the passion that brought us together?”

    When was the last time you wondered :
    – “Am I showing my significant other that I truly care?”

    When was the last time you have ACCEPTED YOUR RESPONSIBILITIES in the mess your relationship got into?

    See, there is two people in a relationship and when one goes bad, it always takes TWO to mess it up, not one.

    I, the “Cheater” (I hate labeling… and yes it IS a cultural thing. Your culture labels EVERYTHING, blacks, whites, Hispanics, Indians, bread eaters, veggie eaters, republicans, democrats…. geeezzz! Such labeling is SOOOOOOO OBSOLETE over here) am responsible for my actions.
    I made my choices and now I bathe in the them.

    You are right, there is always TWO sides on every coin (story). And if not anything else, Sandy and I have recently and FINALLY discussed one day what lead me to do what I did.

    You see, people (in at least 95% of serious relationships), do not wake up one morning and think… :
    – “Geeeeez, what am I gonna do today to screw my life up?”

    I do not wish to my worse enemy (if I have any) to find them selves in a situation where :

    – They run their own small business which begins to feel the results of the international financial crisis and experience a drop in sales up to 50%.
    – The stress from that begins to take a toll on their bodies and you begin to develop a high blood pressure problem (at the age of 36 mind you!!!) and experience a heart rate of 120 p/m in a state of relaxation.
    And when you eventually go see a doctor, he has to decide in a matter of seconds whether he should give you a pill right away and there to save your life or call for an ambulance and have you hospitalized.
    (I am really sorry Sandy, but I guess .. “ITS ALL IN YOUR HEAD SWEETIE…” Weren’t those your exact words honey Sandy that you repeatedly told me for several consecutive days when you were seeing me shaking while seated, all red on the face and I was complaining about back and chest pains?” But I guess you were more important Sandy. Not that you are not. See, Sandy, our child is attached to you more, since I was hardly around, while trying to establish a new business, pay the bills, bring food on the table, deal with my asshole partners and keep a franchise happy, All at the same time. I guess that all these where “in my head too”, right Sandy?

    – The same time with all these happening, the franchise you are working with are begins assholes and tell you that you don’t know how to run a fu@@@@cking retail business and you are in cahoots with them.
    – If you are a man, you find your self with a low libido and cannot have an erection, thanks to to all the heart pulse lowering drugs and the ant high blood pressure medication
    – Your significant other together with youer child is 5000 miles away and back in the USA where she is dealing with a sick mother, not having a return day, not knowing what will occur over there.
    – You are left ALL ALONE behind, living within four walls, being there for everyone else (Sandy) supporting her whenever she needed it, any time of the day or night (10 hours time difference).
    – You have a huge bill to pay and hardly any cash.
    – You have NO FAMILY to support you, instead, you are being condemned every day by a freakingly religious mother that sees everything only from a Christian point of view and she believes that the world is ending, a father that lives in his own little bubble world and occasionaly a friend feels so sorry for you that asks you out for a drink, ’cause he sees you are in trouble.

    – You are not looking for that, but your heart definitely know you need an escape. ANY ESCAPE! Even a temp one!
    And a woman appears from nowhere, married, and offers you milk and cookies.
    And you go for it.
    And you find your self BEING A MAN… AGAIN!
    (..and that is something that unless you own a penis, a woman will NEVER, EVER… EVER understand what it means…)
    And you find your self being the object of desire of someone else.
    And you find your self being stuck into the net of a woman who is obsessed with you and she keeps on harassing you for months, for something that was agreed upon from the beginning that it would only be a “one-day-stand” (it did not take place at night time that is).

    YES, what I did was purely circumstantial.

    Not on Sandy, but on EVERYTHING!!!

    It was not only Sandy’s marriage that got messed up, it was mine too!
    (Ohh… wait a minute… Me and Sandy ARE married to one another! Its OUR MARRIAGE!!!)

    And I am bloody pissed off ON EVERYTHING, just like Iraq and Georgia are in flames right now that MY marriage got fucked up!!!

    I dare you AGAIN AND AGAIN SANDY, to upload that post we argued about a few nights ago, where I dared you X2, X4, X104 times to tell the world, to acknowledge your responsibilities on this mess!!!
    Not to me only, but to everyone!
    Let the truth be known!

    Call me a jerk Megan, and every other Megan out there, Call me whatever name you like, take out your anger from your messed up relationships on me, but it takes TWO to create a relationship and TWO to fuck it up. And if you Megan, did not ever have the guts to confront your significant other about the infidelity, do it NOW! If you really care for them, talk to them, treat them not as a criminal, but as a fallen angel who WANTS TO GET BACK UP!

    But do it only if you truly know in your heart that you love them, care for them and make sure, if you do so, that you show them that you do.

    I do not know you Megan, and I probably never will to get to know you in person, but what I am telling you over here, use it to your own benefit. Truth hurts but it must be told.

    PS. And a petty fuck (that it was, she was not even good in bed) is not a reason to kill a marriage.
    Not even when in your messed up situation, you involve other people in it to try to find (another) escape from your little pathetic virtual reality.

    PS2… Its MY LIFE too Sandy…

  4. Petty fuck it is not. If it was petty, than he wouldn’t have jeopardised his entire life with his wife and family to go through with it. I do realise that there are always 2 sides but the fact is, cheating is never an excuse or reason for a relationship’s wrongs. I think the H’s tone here speaks for itself when saying things like “petty” and blaming other cultures for his wife’s pain in his actions in infidelity. This angers me as a current sufferer in a similar situation. Instead of getting angry and pushing her away, show her you love her and give her the love she’s needed for far too long.

  5. This is not a cultural thing. In fact, this is a “me” thing. I am the type of person who needs to know the actual events as to how you met this person, how the relationship developed and so forth. This has all been discussed between the two of us and my questions were answered early on.

    Regarding what leads a spouse to stray is what needs to be address in every case of infidelity, not only for the betrayed but also for the betrayer. Getting down to the core of the problem and working things through can help prevent a repeat in the future. This too, has been discussed between the two of us and together, we have found what the cause was as to why you went out and fucked the other woman a couple of times while I was out of the country.

    Healing of a marriage after Infidelity takes both people to make it work. As for us, you have admitted you have not done much over the last few months to work on this marriage. I do know you know what you have done. But you still have not given me any recognition for the pain you have caused me. You have not felt my pain, nor have you helped me in the healing process. This, I have recently learned to let go of.

    Working on a marriage is not:

    – telling me to take off for a few days because we need time apart.

    – taking a break from working on the marriage because your business is not doing well

    – telling me to go out and have an affair myself

    – telling me you don’t want to talk about anything related to us or our situation

    – telling me to wake up the next day as though nothing has happened

    – just existing under the same roof with no reference to anything except our daughter

    This is not about a petty fuck. In fact, it is much more then that. Its about you getting off the fence and making an effort here. Its about you working on this marriage if you really want it. And if you don’t, you should just sign the custody document and let me go!!

  6. I still find that difficult to believe with everything else that went on during the latter part of 2007.

    Are the above lyrics the only ones you cared enough to comment on? Or are you just bypassing the rest because it bothers you like everything else does?

    What about:

    If I could buy my reasoning
    I’d pay to lose
    One half won’t do
    I’ve asked myself
    How much do you
    Commit yourself?

  7. For the life of me, I do not, I can not understand the fascination of your culture to emphasize so much on the actual events of the infidelity and not on WHAT LEADS A SPOUSE TO BE THE ONE TO GO OUT OF MARRIAGE VOWS!!!

    Where is the concentration on what was lacking at home?
    Where is the healing on the marriage it self?

    Instead I have been punished DAILY for what I have done!
    I KNOW what I have done.

    I WAS the one that fucked her.
    I was the one that drove 800Km back and forth to fuck her.
    You think I do not know what I have done????
    I surely do!!!


  8. It’s my life
    Don’t you forget
    It’s my life
    It never ends

    Funny how I blind myself
    I never knew if I was sometimes played upon
    Afraid to lose,
    I’d tell myself what good you do
    Convince myself

    It’s your life…
    And except the second part of 2007 YOU WERE NEVER… EVER… EVER… WERE PLAYED UPON!!!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Start a Blog at

Up ↑

%d bloggers like this: