His new employee E is a wife of a friend of his. One he has known for many years. They own a restaurant and we go by there once in a while to get take out. Well we stopped by there tonight and E was there helping her husband as she does from time to time.
Once we arrived, they didn’t have any customers and were sitting together talking. We walked over and E started talking to my husband as if she hadn’t seen him in years. You could tell by the look on her husband’s face that he was very uncomfortable about it. The question that was probably going through his mind was why was she acting as though she hadn’t seen him in years when they just saw each other at work two hours ago? You could tell it bothered him and at that point, he started looking at me as though he were studying me, to see what my reaction was. He didn’t know how to act and then asked me how my language lessons were coming along. It was at that point when I was finally acknowledged by E. She told me that I looked like I had lost lots of weight and I laughed telling her I knew, I’m trying to gain it back, that is why we are here for take-out. That was basically all she said to me and then turned to my husband again and started talking to him.
When we left, I asked my husband if he had noticed how uncomfortable his friend was by the way E was acting. He said he did notice and then asked me what he could do to re-assure his friend that everything was okay. I told him for starters, he doesn’t have to stop by there so much and talk to E. He has been stopping by there to say hi when he is in the area because he feels obligated now that E is his employee. I go on to explain, you work with his wife and then you guys talk really well together as though you both are getting closer. He might feel threatened because of it, which makes him uncomfortable. You have to stop doing that because it’s not fair to him. I think that my husband finally got it. He said he would stop going by so much.
Isn’t it interesting that once infidelity hits home you are able to read people by seeing their spouse through their eyes? Before all this happened to me, I wouldn’t have given a second thought to this guy’s reaction while noticing the way his wife was acting. In the process, I have also felt the need to help those that need re-assurance as I know what it’s like to be in their shoes. There were many times I would have liked some sort of re-assurance when my husband would talk with other women. Needless to say, I never got it from anyone.