I went into the office to check to see what H was doing and found him in chat. When I asked who it was, he told me it was “A” (one of the two women he is to not have any contact with). I was very upset to say the least. I asked him what was going on since I knew something was up over the last three days. He tells me that he hadn’t heard from “A” in a long time and he made it a point to say, she contacted him. “A” told him that she was going to go on the swearing forum and upload something that he was not going to like, but she would do so anyway. When I asked what that had to do with him, he told me the post would be about him. He then mentioned that “A” was upset with “V”. While he was telling me all this, he was looking up one of the threads to read what “V” had told “A” that upset her so much. “A” also claimed in her chat that she put two and two together and figured out that H had an affair with “V”. Apparently, H didn’t admit or deny anything to her.
I then asked, “What do you mean she put two and two together, how is that possible? It has been two and a half months and she’s barely figuring it all out now? That doesn’t make any sense.”
H went on to say. “A” is saying that “V” is out of control on the forum by the way she told off her and her friends. “A” is upset at the fact that I used her. She told me to stay away from her. She wants nothing more to do with me and told me not to contact her.” At this point, I thought this sounds too good to be true. She acted more upset then just any normal friend would be.
I then tell him, “What I think happened is that “V” actually contacted “A” and told her about the affair and that’s how “A” found out. Normally, when a woman helps a male friend get rid of an obsessive woman who’s bothering him, there is always a reason behind it. Especially in this case where “V” was sending private messages to “A”, accusing her of sleeping with you. I would have known something was going on if it were me.”
H just ignored me and kept on reading the forum.
I then left the room very upset and went to calm down. I was thinking, this is way too much drama brought into our lives by an on line forum. People really need to get a life! To make matter worse, H was acting as though nothing was wrong by breaking “no contact” with “A” once again.
A little while later, H comes to tell me that “A” posted on the forum. The post read something like this:
Just because you fucked her, does that mean we have to pay?!!
Just because you found a hole, does that mean we have to tolerate her?!!
Put her in her place!! We are tired of hearing her!!
Just because we are your friends, does that mean we have to keep quiet and not reply to her, when she has an opinion about everything?!!
Who has a right to enter a company (forum) and put down the other members?!!
After reading the post, H tells me that “A” wants the thread to stay on the first page so that “V” can see it when she logs in. H was very nervous and for a while there, I thought he was going to piss his pants. Even though there were no names mentioned on the post, he had no idea what kind of problems this would create after “V” would read it. He was thinking that she might expose him on the forum and then everyone would find out his dirty little secret. H kept posting all evening just to keep the post on the first page. He kept watch to see if “V” would log in and even though she did, she was too quick to be noticed.
Knowing how upset I was about the entire situation, H comes to me and says “If things get out of hand on the forum, you can call “V” husband.”
I thought to myself, he must think so highly of himself to grant me permission to contact her husband after all this time. In the past, he would tell me that is not how things are done here in this country.
Feeling so disgusted over what he had just said, I tell him, “Just get me the numbers”. He never did have “V” home number but had looked up “V” husband’s name a while back and got five phone numbers with the same name. Once he gave me the numbers I told him, “I will be calling on Monday. If things do get out of hand, I will post on the forum in English and give “V” name. The only thing that the owner can do at that point is delete me.”
H then told me, “Don’t do it. I want to tell the forum owner myself. Now that “A” knows and is really upset that I used her, I need to let the owner know what’s going on. Now he has a reason to let me go. If he can remove moderator status from another moderator just for making advances towards another member and I’ve actually done something, he will have to let me go too.”
At that point, he left to write a detailed private message to the owner.
Two hours went by before the owner of the forum got on line and when he did, it was only for a few minutes. H said he must have had a heart attack with what he had read. I then told H to call the owner on the phone, instead of being so worried about the outcome. I had never seen H this humble in over two years. I was actually hoping that the owner would remove his moderator status. This way H would realize just how much of a mistake he made, not leaving the forum, when I found out about the affair.
In the end, H didn’t have to call the owner. The owner called him. They spoke for about an hour and H told him the whole story. The response of the owner was, “You are not the first and you will not be last. I’ve heard worse.” He went on to say that he had already sent two warnings to “V” recently about her behavior towards other members on the forum. One more warning and he will delete her account. He also reassured H by telling him if “V” gives any real names of members on the forum, he will delete her account immediately.
H was basically in the clear and moderator status was not taken away from him. He began walking around with such a massive ego saying that he will remain on the forum and that “V” will eventually be deleted. I was so upset because it seemed like he was being rewarded for having an affair with “V” and to top it off, having two women fight over him for all to see. He was so sure of himself. He really believed that this would take care of everything.