My daughter saw a post that her father (Mr. Disappointment) had posted on Facebook. It was a picture of him and his girlfriend and the heading read “Joined in a Civil Union”. While on the phone, I could tell by her voice that she was in complete shock. She asked me what that meant and I told her it sounds like they got married. I then went on to tell her that every country is different, and therefore, it could mean something different in Greece. She then asked me why wouldn’t he tell her being that she is in Greece right now. I had no words for her and told her I did not know.
I went on line to find out what the U.S. and the E.U. consider a civil union and here is what I found:
U.S.A definition: A civil union is a legally recognized arrangement similar to marriage.
E.U. definition: Civil unions allow 2 people who live together as a couple to register their relationship with the relevant public authority in their country of residence.
Wanting to know what was going on, my daughter decided to call him to see what he had to say about it. She told him she had a question as to what he had uploaded on Facebook. On purpose, he acted as though he didn’t know what she was talking about and asked her what she saw. She went into detail of the picture and what the heading said, and then asked him what it meant. He told her to google it and find out what it means. Now, what type of response is that to give your daughter? She then told him she had already googled it and still he refused to tell her.
She went on to ask him if he had gotten married and went on to explain all the congratulations replies that she had read from his friends. And still, there was silence.
Then she asked him if his girlfriend was pregnant and it was at that point, where she finally got his attention. His reply to that was “Oh, so that’s what you’re worried about.” With that said, he told her he had to go because his boss was calling.
As if that weren’t enough, that night when Mr. Disappointment texted her good night, he told her that her step mother says good night too. My daughter was furious.
Why does he intend on keeping it from her when he put it on Facebook for the entire world to see? Is he ashamed of the situation? You would think he would be ecstatic and would want to share this news with her.
My daughter was beyond upset, but mainly hurt. While she was telling me all that had occurred during their conversation, she kept on questioning why he refused to tell her and why he didn’t want to share this news with her. I continued to hear her out and then she said, “I have a stepmother”. I could tell she was thinking out loud while letting it all sink in.
At this point, I don’t think she really knows how to act or feel about this new development. All I could tell her was that she will find out soon enough when she goes to spend her last week with him. I’m sure he will tell her at that time or maybe not.
I feel so bad that there is nothing I can do to comfort her. I know this is something she has to go through on her own, in order to see her father for who he truly is. Sadly, her summer spent in Greece thus far, has been mostly disappointment, and all of it coming from her father, Mr. Disappointment.
I have been thinking the exact same thing. I have already started to look into therapy for her. There is just no way, I will allow his actions to screw up her life.
Maybe look into therapy for her when she gets back. Even as an adult it is hard to process how he has treated her. I am sure her visit with him was nothing like how she expected. Some men are not meant to be fathers.
Well, she didn’t treat my daughter well when she spent the night at their home when she first arrived in Greece. So who knows how she will treat her now.
I am convinced he was never meant to be a father and I believe he has totally ruined the relationship he could have had with her.
I hope her “step mother” treats her well and she has a chance to tell him how she feels. He is such a crappy father. That is a reflection on him not her.
That is exactly what I thought a civil union was, but wasn’t so sure it was that way in Greece as religious as they are. Thanks for letting me know.
I have been so upset with the way he has been treating her. It seems that one thing after another has been happening and its all coming from him. I sure hope she tells him everything she has ever wanted to tell him when she sees him.
A civil union is a marriage in practice recognized by a Judge or Government. It is not done in the church, which is surprising because Greece is very religious. I bet she is pregnant. Lots of Greeks get married with the judge then once the baby is born they do a church wedding. Your ex husband sounds absolutely repulsive. I am so sorry he is being so unkind to his daughter.