One year ago today…

I left wounded and hurt….totally messed up as a human being. Today, I am healed and trying to get my life back on track.

It has been a long road over the last year. I found it very difficult to pick myself up off the floor while still bleeding, get my things together and walk away. I knew it was something that needed to be done for myself, my sanity and my health. Every part of my well being had been effected in such a major way. Those who have been effected by infidelity know their limits and even though it may be difficult to do what seems to be the impossible, we find our inner strength to do what is best for ourselves in the end.

Things have not been easy for me over the last year. I have had to adjust to so many things.

First off, after spending nine years overseas I returned back home only to find how people had changed. I had to find out the hard way while putting my trust into people who didn’t even earn it. Those around me knew that I was not normal as my personality had been crippled from all I had been through the previous two years. Breakdowns followed me back as well. I had a couple while here in the states in front of those I thought I knew and could trust. But they looked at me as though I needed help and would turn and walk away.

Secondly, adjusting back to the way of life in this country, did not come easy. I had to learn how to live in this society all over again. What was once a way of life for me became so foreign, I felt like I was in a totally different country so unfamiliar to me. And if that weren’t hard enough, I had to watch my daughter in total confusion stripped from the only world she had ever known and enter into another. I guess the worse was when she told me she was Greek and that she was only here because I wanted to be. Talk about a knife going into my chest once again and ripping out the little of my heart that was left.

—I wrote the above December 2009, one year after I arrived back in the states in December of 2008 —