“You are tired of my shit”, is what I heard from H this evening. It was not really a question but rather something he had been thinking about and just said out loud. Hell yes, I’m tired! I’m more like extremely exhausted. Exhausted to the point where I will never get the rest I need, in order to fully recover.
He says he is aware of all he has done to me while treating me like shit. He actually described it as not knowing what he was doing at the time, but now he can see all he has done. If this is truly the case, then why hasn’t he made up for the way he treated me? When someone loves you and they do you wrong, no matter what it is, they will find a way to make it up to you. I know this is true in friendship but why isn’t it that way in marriage?
You would think that being married is more of a reason to make up for a wrong committed from one spouse to another. However, it seems like that is not the case in most marriages effected by infidelity. In fact, we see more cases of making up for a wrong committed by a spouse to a friend, then from a spouse to a spouse.
And if this is the case, then I would rather be a friend of my H, then be his wife. For if I were just a friend, you’d be damn sure, he would have made it up to me long ago. He would have stopped dead in his tracks doing all he was doing, while seeing how much he was hurting his friend. Then he would have bent over backwards in order to make up for it. Sadly, I am not a friend of my husband in that sense. I am his wife.