Everything is a big deal

Those of us who have been betrayed by our spouse notice any discrepancy in their behavior or speech which leads us to believe they are hiding something from us. This usually happens when things are not progressing along as we had hoped.

In my case, it happened earlier today when I asked my husband how things were going at work. He usually tells me if he had a bad day or if something came up unexpectedly. This time he tells me “nothing”. He was acting as though he were lying or hiding something in just the way he replied, while acting very uncomfortable during the question. A strange feeling then came over me.

Maybe it didn’t have anything to do with work. Perhaps he was so relieved with what I told him last night, that he began feeling comfortable enough to start his shit back up on the Internet. Although this time, I highly doubt it will be on the forum, since lately, he has begun to find it a little boring. It will probably be a place like face book where he can actually interact with other women through messages and flirt with them all at the same time. I just found out that he signed up on wayn a couple of days ago. Now why would he do that? In the past, he would not consider becoming a member of any type of place like this because, as he put it, it did not appeal to him. All of sudden that has changed. He is now obtaining membership at a few of these places, which only makes it harder to keep tabs on him.

Yes, this is what becomes of a betrayed woman who is trying to protect herself from future hurt. It is almost like baby sitting in a sense or watching your child to make sure they don’t get into trouble. It takes a whole lot of time, not to mention the energy that goes into it.

In order to not read too much into anything in particular, I had to begin ruling out what I could. I needed to find out why his behavior drew attention to me.

So I asked him, “Has she tried to contact you?”

“No”

I went on to remind him, “She has been attempting contact with you over the last three months and if she doesn’t do so this month, I will know that something is wrong. I will start thinking that maybe she contacted you and you didn’t tell me.”

He then said, “I will tell you if she attempts contact just like I did all the other times. I even told you about the chat request that was no big deal.”

I then replied, “When it comes to this, everything is a big deal.”

It has been said that in order to begin gaining trust back, one must check up on their spouse’s emails, phone, Internet accounts, etc. Well that is what I’ve been doing and still, I find nothing. He is an open book but his behavior tells me otherwise.