I have never gone back

I have always been the type of person who never goes back….

I have never gone back to a relationship.

I have never gone back to a job I once had.

I have never gone back to a place I once lived.

However, over the last few months I have being playing tub-a-war with myself on one of the three. I find myself filled with regret on leaving my last job. I have never lived with a regret of a decision I have made in life. Yes, some may have been wrong decisions but I never once regretted any of them. I now know what it feels like to have regret and it has been eating away at me over the last few months.

When I had started that job, I was welcomed with open arms. The Agency had 90 employees and from day one, I had two supervisors fighting over me to work for their divisions. In the end, I worked for both. One of the supervisors built me up so much in his division that they thought I could walk on water. When I spoke everyone stopped and listened. It was unbelievable, not to mention scary.  Within two months of being there, I became lead time keeper of 90 employees. I corrected their system and meet deadlines like they had never seen before.

The people I was working with in this agency were Engineers, Geologists and Hydrologists. They were very intelligent people with a lot of respect that I had never encountered in any other position I’ve had before. It was refreshing and I began learning from them. That’s when the scary part came into play. These people thought I could do anything.

To this day, I have no idea why I left.  After giving my notice, people came to me who I didn’t even know face to face and told me they were going to miss me. A few people who I thought didn’t really care, seemed to have the saddest look on their faces and those who I had become close with took it far worse than I thought they would. At that point, I should have changed my mind and stayed.

I took a job that was offered to me without an interview due to the upcoming hiring freeze back in January.  They hired me rather quickly and without having to sign any form of paperwork. The amount of salary that was quoted to me was one of the reasons why I took the position. However, once I started with them, that was not the case.

Thursday, I had an interview back at my old place of employment.  I am hoping I am selected for one of the positions but I can’t help but wonder if this is right thing to do.  Have you ever found yourself in a position like this?