Heart broken Greek Summer

I haven’t sent my daughter to Greece for a summer vacation since she was 10. That was the only time she had returned since I brought her to the states. She is now 13 and is wanting to go for the summer to spend time with her Aunt and Grandfather (her grandmother passed away last year). When asked if she wants to see her father, she says no.

Like her, I would like to send her to Greece to see her aunt and grandfather. She is the only grandchild and niece they have. I want her to spend time with her grandfather who only speaks Greek in hopes that the language begins to flow again for her. She was fluent at the age of five when I brought her to the states to live.

I am heart broken for my daughter who ran the idea by her father the other day. His response was that he works and so does his girlfriend and they cannot spend any time with her.  When she mentioned she could stay with her aunt (his sister), he didn’t like that idea at all. He quickly changed his mind saying she can go and stay with him but that she will be going to work with him every day and on the weekends, he would take her to see her aunt and grandfather. DD then told her father that she would like to go stay with her grandfather and that he can go and visit her every weekend. He didn’t care too much for that idea either.

DD knows as well as I do that her father will keep her away from them and will not do what he says. She was hurt over the situation asking if it were still possible for her to go. I told her I will do all I can to make it happen.

Three years ago when I had sent her to Greece, her father would not let her spend any time with her aunt or grandparents. It was as though he were using her as a possession and wanted to make them suffer. Like when DD arrived at the airport and her father and aunt were there to greet here, you would have thought they would have traveled the 300 miles together to get there, but that was not the case. In fact, her father made his sister take the bus, however, he did allow her to ride back with them. It was at that point that I knew he was not going to allow them to spend time with DD.  I did not agree with how he was acting and was so upset during the time DD was there but there was nothing I could do to change it. I would tell him over the phone that he was to share her with them but he only let them see her a couple of times.

Me and her father do not talk, so there is not way to come up with any type of agreement. Even if we did, who’s to say he will keep his word. I’m not sure how things will go this time. DD is much older and wiser and knows her father quite well. Maybe once there, she will speak up and tell him what she wants if he doesn’t keep his promises.