My daughter was invited to a boy’s birthday party and she is only 13. Not knowing the kid, I decided to call the parents to inquire about the party. There was no answer so I left a voicemail. After introducing myself, I asked if there was going to be parental supervision, what the agenda was for the party and I would appreciate a call back when convenient. Two minutes later the boy’s mother called me and after introducing herself, she then said in a very offended voice:
I have never left my kids unattended, so yes there will be adult supervision. I will be the one supervising them as my husband who is in law enforcement will be working tonight. As far as the agenda for the party, there will be pizza, music and educational games.
I could tell by the tone of her voice that I had offended her but I didn’t quite understand how she could take offense to what I had asked her. I then tell her, “I am sorry, but in this day and age one has to check. She is a girl and she is all I have”
She replies with partial understanding if any, “I am also protective of my kids. I raised two boys who are also in law enforcement.” <—what does that have to do with anything?
Then she quickly changes the subject naming all the boys who will be attending and says she knows the parents of all of them. She continues informing me that all the kids that were invited to this party are only close friends of her son as they have grown up together since the 1st grade. Then she says, “If your daughter doesn’t want to come, she doesn’t have to.”
My reply, “She would like to attend and will be there at 6:30” I thanked her and we hung up.
In this day and age, I would think that most parents would be a little concerned sending their daughter off to someone’s house for an evening party when they don’t know the parents of the boy who invited them. I would also think that a mother whose in a law enforcement family would know the dangers of the world we live in as she is told about it on a daily basis by one who sees it first hand. She should applaud a concerning parent regarding the safety of their daughter instead of getting offended by it.
What would you have done if it were your daughter?
You don’t even know the half of it. It was a boy’s Birthday party and my daughter didn’t even know him all that well. There were so many things going through my mind. I even had her take her phone with her and put me on speed dial. I told her to not drink anything that was offered to her unless it came from a closed container. I may have over reacted but in this day and age, one cannot be too careful.
That’s good. Since you was pacing you must of been nervous and worried?
Thanks for your comment! I was very impressed of your understanding of the situation even though you do not have children of your own.
I did allow my daughter to attend the party, but needless to say, I spent the entire evening pacing while waiting for her call me to pick her up.
This is interesting.
No reason for the boy’s mother to catch an attitude.
You should of cursed her out.
Lol nah jk but still she was very rude and I didn’t like that
I’m not parent so I don’t how to answer this but I do believe it’s okay for children to have their freedom and have fun but children still have rules to follow and it’s the parents job to protect them. So since you know that this party will have supervision I guess it’s okay to let your daughter to go to this party as long as she doesn’t stay out too late and somebody is there to pick her up
Thanks for your comment and sharing your experiences. Finally someone who understands my concern. In this day and age, one cannot overlook such things. Luckily in my case, the party went well and the mother of boy was there the entire time.
I have ALWAYS asked about supervision. Sadly, even that doesn’t always make a difference as one event left my son at an apartment with the mom’s boyfriend while she headed out, in the middle of the night, to get more cigarettes and beer for her and said boyfriend. Boyfriend was NOT someone who I was informed would be there. Another party, the parents left the kids alone for hours with a teenage sibling after informing me an adult would be present at all times. When you do not know the kid or the parents, you have a responsibility to ensure your child’s safety. As family of police officers especially, you would think she, of all people, would have understood and been sympathetic to your concerns.
Thanks for your comment. I know it only matters what I’m comfortable with but I was hoping that between “moms” there would be a common understand of the situation and I was rather surprised with the way she took offense.
It doesn’t matter what other people do….you need to do what you’re comfortable with and what is best for your kid and your family.