One year ago today

One year ago today was the last time my husband saw the other woman “V”. Although, to be honest, I still have my doubts that it was the last time. All I know is that this same day last year was one of the two times they met. H on the other hand, doesn’t seem to remember the exact dates they saw one another, which doesn’t help matters much. I will never know the other time they met. Then again, I will never know if they met more than twice.

One week prior to this same time last year, H took off for a weekend. He had a business meeting to attend on Saturday but would return the same evening. We had set up an appointment to talk on the phone on Sunday. However, he never did return home and by Sunday, I was not able to contact him via cell, home or business phone the entire day. I grew worried and thought that something had happened to him on the long road home. I had no numbers with me to contact family, so I basically had to ride it out until I heard from him. Well, I didn’t hear from him until Monday, and boy was I upset to hear what he had been up to and why he never returned home that same night.

After the meeting on Saturday, H met with “S” and her husband. H was invited to their home for dinner. That evening, “S” husband wanted H to accompany him to a strip club and he went. After they got their fill and being that it was so late, they returned to “S” home where H stayed the night. The next day, when H was heading home, he received a call from another forum member who was visiting the city and wanted to meet him for a drink, so he went. Now you can see why I was so upset. I was worried, going out of my mind while thinking that something had happened to H on the road. He never cared to call me out of courtesy to let me know he would not be staying the night, nor did he call me the entire next day.

Once H contacted me on Monday, he could not understand why I was so upset. Being 8,000 miles away like I was, he should have understood why I was so worried. He began to get very defensive thinking that I was only giving him a hard time because he went to a strip club. Honestly, it did bother me and I told him so. However, the main point I had difficulty in getting across to him, was that I went an entire weekend without hearing from him. That is something he never should have put me through. He knew what I had already been going through, while. I later found out that the other woman “V”, was giving him a hard time about going to the strip club. Due to our huge time difference, H had been talking with “V” and when my turn came, he had had enough bitching from her already. Its no wonder why he got pushed out of shape when I brought up how worried I was. All he could hear from me, was probably the echo of “V”, telling him off for going to the strip club.

The week that followed, H started acting completely different. Nothing he said made any sense and he would grow upset for no apparent reason. I questioned him about his behavior, especially after he told me off one day on the phone and then hung up on me. The first thing that entered my mind was that we had been apart for way too long and it was taking its toll on him. But then, shortly after that, I starting thinking that he may have went out on me. Some of the signs reflected in his behavior over the phone. When I asked him if he had, he said no and then grew quite angry at me for even thinking it. That is when he sent me an email stating that he had only been hanging out with married couples since I’d been gone, and even though there were so many temptations out there of women throwing themselves at him, he had been nothing but loyal.

At one point, he told me to come home and when I offered to jump on the next plane out, he quickly changed his mind saying that my mother needed me. I didn’t know it at the time, but he had already planned to meet with the other women only a few days later.

The week after this same day last year, H wrote emails to me telling me that once I returned home, we would start over again. Looking back now, I know why that was. He had ended what he thought was a short fling, got it out of his system and now was ready to have a better life with me, that is, without me knowing. I doubt he ever thought I would find out as he was confident when I would speak with him. Maybe in the back of his mind, he was trying to bury it like he does with everything else that seems to be a problem he might face in the future. If you were to ask him, he would clearly admit that he was never going to tell me.

The only reason I know this is a day they met, is due to an email I read that H had sent “V” the day after. In the email, he says its a good day and the guilt is not as bad as he thought it would be. I always believed that this email showed that it must have been their first meeting. Because if it had been their second, why would he write about guilt?

To this day, I can’t help but wonder, what if I would have came back that one week when I was out of the country and not stayed the three additional weeks. I know that would have prevented him from seeing “V” that next time, but would it have changed anything? I guess I will never know. The damage had ready been done, so what difference would it have made?

I guess it would have made it more difficult for H having to deal with “V”, as she would have been quite upset that their meeting would have been canceled. I still don’t believe that on this day, they didn’t actually make plans to meet. H claims that he called her when he was away from the city on business, five hours before. If that is true then why did he tell me not to return home and to continue staying in the states?