Before you start getting any crazy ideas running through your head of a woman my age pregnant, think again. 🙂
A couple of months ago, my daughter’s father contacted her to tell her that his new wife was going to have a baby boy. At first, she took it a little hard because her and her dad only started regular communication over the last two years and she figured that this would take his attention away from her. After thinking about it for a couple of days, she then began to accept it.
She came to me excited about having a little brother and her being a big sister. But then she told me she felt sorry for him. When I asked her why, she said “because he will be raised by my dad and he doesn’t know how to be a father.” It was at that moment when I realized she fully understood what type of person her father actually is.
I then told her that’s where she comes in. She will be there every summer to spend time with her little brother and help her father raise him. The two of them working together can help give her little brother two different perspectives on anything he encounters. She liked that idea and the excitement returned yet again.
Her father doesn’t seem to be very happy about the fact that he is going to have another child. Every time my daughter has asked him how his wife was doing; he would say fine and then would quickly change the subject. I thought all men wanted a son? Perhaps it’s because he will be 49 when his child is born and will be 69 when his son is 20. He won’t be able to see his son grow up to see what direction in life his son will take.
My daughter questioned why he would have a child so late in life when he won’t be around for his son later. I told her it’s because his new wife has never had any children and probably wanted one. These are the sacrifices one makes for love.
How I feel
I know you all are wondering how I felt when I heard the news. I know most women out there usually get upset or hurt over their x having a child with another woman when he never was involved in raising his existing children. Well not me.
When my daughter told me the news, I was overwhelmed with joy. One of the biggest concerns I have had over the last fifteen years and being an older mom, was that my daughter would not have anyone around when I am gone. When I heard the news, the relief I felt was like a huge weight, filled with worry, lifted off me. Sure, they will be 15 years apart in age but she will at least have someone.
Days later, when we went shopping, I began putting baby items in the cart. I was shopping as though the kid were mine but then stopped when I realized this child will be of no relation to me. Needless to say, I put everything back except for very nice baby blanket that my daughter took and gave to her step mother for the baby.
I guess we don’t know it at the time, but sometimes, things work out in the best interest of the child (meaning my daughter). This news has us both excited and we cannot wait until her baby brother comes into the world!