He has the upper hand

I was actually floored when I heard H say that he wanted to secure me with a place of my own. At first, I felt as though he were trying to get rid of me faster than I could say good bye. It still hadn’t sunk in yet. Deep down, I guess I still believed that... Continue Reading →

Sometimes love just ain’t enough

A couple of days ago in passing, H told me he didn’t know where we stood. Now he knows exactly how I have been feeling all these months. I have not known where we stood since the day I found out about his affair, and as the months passed, I still did not get any answers... Continue Reading →

Spouse to friend vs. Spouse to spouse

“You are tired of my shit”, is what I heard from H this evening. It was not really a question but rather something he had been thinking about and just said out loud. Hell yes, I’m tired! I’m more like extremely exhausted. Exhausted to the point where I will never get the rest I need, in... Continue Reading →

Everything I do, I do it for you

While living in a foreign country, you tend to do things according to the customs and culture. If you’re lucky like I’ve been, you’ll have someone to show you what is acceptable behavior. Someone to show you the ropes and how to deal with people. You might lose part of yourself along the way. A... Continue Reading →

Inner peace

It has been very quiet around here over the last three days. For the first time, since all this began, I feel very calm. It’s not the calm before the storm, because there is no storm in sight. It’s more like an inner peace. It feels like my spirit has left my body and has taken along... Continue Reading →

Soul searching

Now that H is no longer on “that forum”, there is calmness between us. Sure we have our issues but now we no longer have to deal with our issues on top of other problems that “that forum” brought into our marriage. Plus, we no longer have to deal with his misbehaving, flirting with other women,... Continue Reading →

Save up all your tears

Since the day after I found out about H infidelity, he has not shed one tear. I say the day after, because the day that I found out about his affair, he cried if only for a few minutes. It was during the time when he thought that he would lose me and our daughter.... Continue Reading →

A legal matter upon leaving

Knowing that it’s over, I contacted our Attorney this morning. She was not in, so I requested to speak to someone else to have a question answered. The Attorney I spoke with is the main Attorney there, whose name represents this particular law firm. I explained that I was ready to walk with my daughter... Continue Reading →

The hope is gone

Throughout the months, I continued having hope with what little of my heart I had left. Hope that one day, H would wake up and finally realize all he has done to us and would know just how much he wanted our marriage and family. Shamelessly, I continued to have hope while going through so much... Continue Reading →

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